when he calls you first ♡
imagine your baby’s first words being the seinfeld bassline
why the hell are you putting your forks to bed
I’ve just cried laughing at the comments on a Jamie Oliver recipe, there was a typo on the website and everyone put 13 lemons into a pasta sauce and didn’t even question it. Imagine eating 13 lemons, the recipe was for 4 people, imagine having that much trust in Jamie Oliver.
The Fault In Our Stars looks so good.
when people start getting close to your friends
the bear is loose
this shark is hungry. dangerous.
ｔｈｉｓ ｓｈａｒｋ ｗａｎｔｓ ｔｏ ｅａｔ ｙｏｕｒ ｂｌｏｇ．
if u dont reblog this cyber shark you’re blog will be delieted DONT RISK IT
youve angered it
[calls a sex hotline] home alone shouldn’t have had a sequel. it should’ve been a one time thing. no i don’t want to talk dirty listen to me. home alone 2 was terrible