partybarackisinthehousetonight:

i love how all the free food in the refrigerator at work has little names taped on it

partybarackisinthehousetonight:

ooh a friendship bracelet!!! oh my it’s silver, you really shouldn’t have. wait uh it’s a little tight 
"you’re under arrest sir"

partybarackisinthehousetonight:

and on the 32nd day, god forgot to renew his free trial and was charged for another month

catnus:

You see these arms? *flexes* wii sports resort 

romankyaryday:

you were named after two of the bravest men i ever knew, danny devito godzilla

partybarackisinthehousetonight:

pro tip: replace all the mirrors in your house with pictures of leo dicaprio and boost your confidence level at least 150%

blakejp:

she did not friendzone me she just saved our relationship as a draft



welcome to dr wenis how may i help you